


everything carries me to you

by aurebish



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A round of unhealthy relationships for me and my friends, A whole lot of angst, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Infidelity, kind of a modern gothic au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 08:45:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15860205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurebish/pseuds/aurebish
Summary: Rey returns to her hometown after being away for more than a decade. It's a bittersweet reunion with her old family and friends, but there's one man in particular she doesn't think she's ready to face again.For in heaven and in our dreams, love is simple and glorious. But it is something altogether different here on earth.





	everything carries me to you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! This fic is heavily influenced by Here on Earth by Alice Hoffman, which was inspired by Wuthering Heights. Both books are great reads! Also keep in mind if you've read either that I'm changing around character roles and the storyline quite a bit. 
> 
> There may be some sensitive material and I'll try to tag accordingly. 
> 
> I also shortened the age gap between them since there will be flashbacks to them as children and adolescents and I'm personally not comfortable writing adult with minor relationships. 
> 
> This chapter contains strong language and implications of abusive behaviour.
> 
> Welcome to the pain train!

Fox Hill at first glance was your average northeastern town, nestled between the marshes and the woods. A dark and heavily forested area, even people who have spent their whole lives here don’t stray too far out into the trees, worried that they will get lost and forgotten in the sprawling foliage. In the fall, the weather brought a lingering fog, and once the sun started moving into the western sky, it would grow so thick that someone wouldn’t be able to tell day from night. 

 

It was summer in 1998 when Rey was brought to live in the town, the ten year old’s mouth gaping open at the sight,  _ she didn’t know there was this much green in the entire galaxy.  _

 

A gruff chuckle sounded to her left, and she tore her gaze away from the car’s passenger side window to make a face at her new guardian. 

 

“What, kid, you’ve never seen trees before?”

 

“I’ve seen trees!” Rey draws out the e’s, stretching her sentence into a whine, before her voice drops to a whisper. “Just not this many, not like this.”    
  
Han Solo’s face softens as he stares out at the road, his expression ignored as Rey continues to press her nose into the window. It was good to be back home, he thinks, now that they’re within an hour of their destination. The drive to and from Major County, Oklahoma was long, stretched out over the course of five days, two days there and three days back. When Leia had told Han that old man Kenobi passed away and left behind a granddaughter, there was no question that they would be the ones to take her into their home. They thought it would be good for Ben, too. Their thirteen year-old son was going through the motions of adolescence, and with it came a kind of darkness they couldn’t put a finger on. Maybe this bright, new energy would help piece their family back together again. 

 

They finally pulled into the long driveway of a two-story georgian style home, nestled amongst the trees that Rey  _ knew _ she was going to master climbing. 

 

“Well, here we are,” mutters Han, as he kills the engine of his toyota pickup and puts his emergency break on. As he unbuckles his seatbelt and Rey freezes, suddenly very shy and nervous about stepping out of the car. The ride to Fox Hill, Massachusetts might have not been the most fun, but seeing all the scenery and eating all the diner food along the way was a welcome distraction from her grandfather passing. Now that she was here… it was real. This was going to be her new home. 

 

The popping open of the car door breaks her out of her thought process and she slowly unbuckles her seatbelt as Han starts unloading his truck. Still nervously glancing at the house and definitely not making any haste to get out of the car, she notices the front door open. A woman emerges from the threshold with a friendly expression on her face, before turning back to yell something into the house. Rey vaguely recognizes this woman as Leia, from the first and only time she and her husband visited her in Oklahoma when her grandfather was still alive. 

 

Leia turns back around toward the car and waves at Rey, making her way to the passenger side of the car. Rey opens the door slowly and hops out before Leia crouches down and brings her a tight hug and tears prick at the corner of Rey’s eyes at the gesture. 

 

“Oh, Rey, it’s so good to see you again. We’re so happy to have you here despite the circumstances…” Either Leia’s voice trails off or Rey begins to tune her out because in that moment she is distracted by another figure emerging from the house. A tall, lanky boy with fair skin and dark hair just starting to cover his protruding ears steps out, and Rey almost finds him and his sour expression funny. Their eyes meet briefly, but whatever he might be thinking doesn’t show as he immediately averts his gaze and stalks towards the bed of the truck to help Han unload Rey’s belongings into the house. 

 

Leia stands and places a hand on Rey’s back, gesturing her into the house for some iced tea and snacks. “Let the men do all the hard work for now, us girls can relax.” She says as she guides through the doorway. Rey follows her in, but not before sneaking a glance back over to the boy, who’s huffing and puffing through his nose while hoisting her suitcases and boxes over the side of the trunk. 

 

Yeah, she thinks, definitely funny. 

 

* * *

 

It’s late September when Rey returns to Fox Hill. The leaves were no longer green, but now a rich blend of maroon and gold, peeking through the thick fog and grey concrete roads. A wave of nausea hits her as she makes that familiar bend around Route 22, her knuckles on the wheel white against the rest of her tanned California skin. 

 

Well, as tan as she could get living in San Francisco. It was funny that she moved across the country to essentially run away from her past but still couldn’t escape  _ fog _ .

 

She had been away for nearly eleven years, remaining in correspondence with some of her old friends and of course Han and Leia. It was easy to stay in touch with everyone with the modern advantages of social media. Everyone except, well, the one person she was desperately trying to forget and went out of her way to avoid. 

 

But now she knows that she can’t avoid him, not when the reason she’s returning is because Leia had passed away and there was no way she was missing her celebration of life ceremony. Han had called her only a couple days prior with the news, and it was the same day that she booked a flight for her and her best friend Finn to fly out of SFO into Logan International. 

 

The ride from the rental car agency in Boston to Fox Hill was quiet and tense. Rey knew that Finn wasn’t going to take no for an answer, since while he may not know too much about Rey’s childhood he knows enough, and it’s enough to know that she wasn’t going to go back by herself to face her demons alone. And while she appreciated the sentiment, she still had that sense of dread gnawing at her that his presence wasn’t going to help at all. In this moment, however, she was trying to be grateful for Finn sitting there in the passenger seat silent and understanding while she battled her inner monologue. And if Finn thought it was strange that she hadn’t shed a single tear over the course of the last 48 hours, he didn’t say anything. 

 

It’s 8PM when they finally arrive at Dagobah Inn, weary from travel and ready to settle in. 

 

“Time zones are dumb,” grumbles Finn as they carry their luggage into their double queen room, “I don’t see why what should only be a five hour flight, turns into a 10 hour long day of travel. Where’s my missing three hours, huh?”

 

“I think you get them back when you fly back west.” Rey responds cheekily, welcoming her friend’s humor now that she was too tired to go over the trips itinerary and possible chain of events 500 times in her head. 

 

“Still!” Finn exclaims, throwing his arms up in the air to exaggerate his exasperation. They both know that he isn’t actually too bothered, but is trying to help lighten the mood. “And airport food, what’s up with that? Are we not suffering enough?”

 

“Don’t worry, Finn, I know a great spot where we can grab some grub.” She smiles, but it feels forced, and her heart is racing a little bit thinking about going out into public, and Finn smiles back knowing all too well what she’s thinking.

 

* * *

 

“Well, if it isn’t little Rey Kenobi! How long has it been since you dragged your skinny ass into my booth?” 

 

Finn gapes at Rey, shocked by the language coming out of the very small, very spray-tanned, very old woman that sidled up to their table. Rey just laughs. 

 

“Oh, Maz, you haven’t changed a bit,” she laughs as she extends her cup out while Maz hums and pours coffee into the mug. 

 

“And did you find this stray on the road while you were driving up here? You always were fond of bringing strange things home.”

 

“No,” she continues to laugh, “this is my best friend Finn, from San Francisco.”

 

“Nice to meet you, ma’am!” he breathes in a yes-sir-no-sir kind of manner, extending his arm out for a handshake, which Maz just stares at before walking away, mumbling that she would be back to collect their orders. “So… town folk here, huh?”

 

“Oh that’s just Maz. We would all joke as children that she was as old as the town itself. She would actually babysit me sometimes when Ben couldn’t --” She pauses once she realizes what she said, and bless Finn for deciding in that moment that he really wanted to try the steak and eggs and that he thinks they both should  _ definitely  _ split a slice of apple pie. 

 

“That reminds me, I haven’t texted Han yet to tell him we’ve arrived, he must be worried.” As Rey pulls out her phone and sends a quick message, another familiar voice cheers to the side of their table, this one significantly friendlier and belonging to none other than Poe Dameron, who invites himself into the booth after giving Rey a tight hug, sliding in next to Finn so comfortably it’s as though they’ve already become friends. Rey makes a note to ask Finn about his uncomfortable blush later. 

 

“Wow! Rey! It’s, wow. It’s so good to see you! It’s been what… ten, eleven years? Last I saw you, you were a scrawny teenager.”

 

“I was nineteen, Poe. I wasn’t a teenager.”

 

“Well you were definitely not an adult when you were nineteen! Now look at you. Wow.” 

 

“Stop saying “wow”, you’re making me uncomfortable.” Which was a lie, Rey was very welcome to see Poe again after so long. Poe flashes her a dazzling smile before coughing into his fist. 

 

“So, uh, I’m sorry about, well, I mean to say I wish you were here under better circumstances.” 

 

“Yeah, uh, me too.” 

 

“So, have you seen Ben yet?”

 

“I’m Finn! By the way. My name is Finn.” He attempts to extend his hand for another (hopefully this time reciprocated) handshake, although it’s at an odd angle since the booths at this diner are so small and he’s already pretty much shoulder to shoulder to Poe. 

 

Rey’s heart warms once again at Finn’s desperation to lighten the mood. She watches with a smile as the two men in front of her animatedly introduce themselves, and doesn’t notice when a young woman enters the diner, then immediately leave with a scowl once she notices Rey. 

 

* * *

 

“I grabbed chinese from Qui-Gon’s instead.” 

 

The young woman from the diner huffs as she sets the takeout down on the table before crossing her arms defensively over her chest. Despite her strong stance there’s still a trace of worry and fear in her brow. The man seated at the table takes a long drawn out breath before speaking in a low, cool tone. 

 

“I thought we agreed on Maz’s?” 

 

“I decided I didn’t want diner food.” She eyes him carefully, before looking away again, “who gets diner food to go anyway?” She shouldn’t have said it, but she’s annoyed now, and something snaps.

 

“God _ damnit _ , Paige!” there’s a crashing noise and the sound of cardboard hitting the floor, and the woman, Paige, backs herself up against the wall with her arms still crossed, forbidding the tears from falling from her eyes even though her eyes are stinging. The man huffs and places his palms on the table, eyeing her as his long black hair hands in front of his eyes. 

 

“If you want eggs so damn much I’ll make you fucking eggs! We have  _ eggs. _ ” She screams, her voice cracking. Things used to be good. So, so good. She finally got her dream man and everything was going to be wonderful and his parents were wonderful and the  _ sex was wonderful _ , and then his mom dies and she knew, and he knew, that  _ she _ would be coming back, and oh, God, how did everything just turn to  _ shit _ so fast. 

 

Ben pushes himself from the table and brushes his hair out of his eyes before stalking away, grumbling that he was going to bed and to just forget about it. 

 

It's only once he's out of earshot that Paige allows herself to let out a choking sob as she sinks to the floor and attempts to scoop up the chow mein noodles strewn across the floor. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think or if you noticed any gaping mistakes!


End file.
